The Road Less Traveled

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both…” -Robert Frost

Life is unpredictable. Just ask anyone in the medical field. As we travel down the road of life we have to make decisions as to which way to go when we come to a crossroad. But what if you couldn’t tell us that decision? Does your family know what you want? What if you could no longer care for yourself? What if you could no longer feed yourself? Sooner or later this is a crossroad we all must face. In many cases, we as medical professionals can’t always provide our patients and families with immediately clear answers regarding a prognosis on a disease or injury, so knowing which direction your loved one would want to go helps ease the decision-making process during difficult times.

As healthcare providers we often have to help families through these troubled times of “guessing” and “assuming” what a loved one would want because they simply had never had this difficult dialogue. You are never too young or to healthy to have this vital conversation. Questions to consider and discuss with your family could include (but are not limited to):

1) Who you want to make health care decisions for you when you can no longer make them yourself? We should all choose someone to make difficult choices for us. It is vital that this person be able to agree to respect your wishes.

2) What kind of medical treatment do you want or not want? Life is precious. We all want to be treated with dignity, especially during difficult times. Dignity also means that your loved ones know your wishes and respect them when you are unable to communicate them yourself.

3) How comfortable do you wish to be if you have a chronic or life limiting disease? Most people wish to spell out for physicians and care givers that they want to be kept free from pain, nausea, and shortness of breath. Clearly identifying what you want treated and don’t want treated will make these choices that much easier.

4) How you want people to treat you? Do you want to be surrounded by your loved ones as the hours of your life draw to an end? Do you enjoy music and want your family to play music for you? Do you want to have pictures for special memories and share stories of the past? Do you want spiritual support from a church or chaplain? What customs and rituals would you like to have honored?

5) What do you want your loved ones to know as they care for you? It is also important to discuss feelings with loved ones during this time so that the ones you care about know how you feel about them in case you are unable to communicate those feelings at a later date. Leaving a letter with your last will and testament is a very moving way to let your loved ones know how important they were to you if you are unable to voice this in the end.

As an individual it is your right to make these decisions for yourself. Most of us have considered this at some point in our lives, but have we communicated it to those who care about us? If you come to a fork in the road about making life decisions do you and your family know which way to go?

Kenneth Ellis, RN; Ashley Hodges, RN; Jennifer Nelson, RN

Palliative Care